You're not alone. Reach out to supports.

12 Step Programs are a great resource to find your recovery community. Traditional programs can be alienating for those who have endured religious trauma. Below are a list of secular support groups to help you find your community.

Secular Resources

https://aaagnostica.org/2014/01/29/the-alternative-12-steps-a-secular-guide-to-recovery/

https://secularovereaters.org/

https://recoverydharma.org/meetings/

https://smartrecovery.org/

https://lifering.org/

Crisis Support

https://988lifeline.org/get-help/